Seinosuke Yamada
by hana-theory
Summary: A story that with Seinosuke Yamada. That's not something you see everyday, so I figured why not make something new for the Bleach fanfiction community? This story is actually meant to introduce a new Bleach theory, and it's all made totally out of fun. For a more in-depth author's note, please read the first chapter(though it is not required). Ratings may change. [YamadaxUnohana]
1. Opening Note from the Author

Hello! I may change my username, because it really sucks!

I actually created a new fanfiction account separate from my other one (which has actually been a little dead due to me being in school) primarily because it'll be easier to organize, and secondly because (as my current username suggests) this fanfiction is based around a particular theory I've been working on. I don't really want to spoil it for anyone, though, but I assume you guys might be able to put two and two together as the story progresses. So I hope you'll just enjoy!

This fanfiction is from the POV of Seinosuke Yamada (whom you may know as the lieutenant of the 4th Division before Isane Kotetsu, as well as the older brother of Hanataro Yamada). The first part of this fanfiction is basically him developing romantic feelings and struggling to understand said feelings for his well-respected taicho, Retsu Unohana (this will grow into a YamadaxUnohana story, in a nutshell).

I have not watched or read the TBTP arc in FOREVER, so my memory may be somewhat vague (so if you see something that conflicts with canon material, that may be why). But of course, this story takes place during the TBTP arc (technically), and it was pretty much impossible for me to make it take place at any other time, considering Seinosuke is only seen for 2 seconds in one episode. Rukia is in the 13th Division, Kaien is a lieutenant, Zaraki is not yet the Kenpachi, and there are other details that you will be able to pick out in the story that should help you get a general idea of the time period this story takes place.

So without further adieu, let's embark on this story~


	2. Chapter 1: A Dangerous Message

For future references:

 _Seinosuke's thoughts_

 **Unohana's thoughts**

Seinosuke was just arguing with Iemura again when the phone rang. Both men paused abruptly, and because the phone was on Seinosuke's desk, he reached out to answer it. While Seinosuke listened to the frantic voice of a girl from Squad 13, Unohana came strolling into the central office and Iemura stole the opportunity to rat on him about the half-finished reports. Seinosuke grinded his teeth as there was nothing he could do to stall Iemura, not while he was in the middle of receiving an emergency phone call. The girl, who sounded incredibly young, was crying on and on about how a friend had been injured during a training session, and that she was bleeding heavily.

"Okay, ma'am, I need for you to stay calm, okay?" Seinosuke said calmly. "Where are you in the 13th Division barracks? I will lead a team out there immediately."

"T-The central training grounds, sir," the girl stammered. "Oh, please, please hurry! There's so much blood!"

"I'll be there in 5," Seinosuke replied sharply and hung up the phone. "Kotetsu, where are you?!"

"H-Here I am, Yamada-san!"

Seinosuke turned to see the smaller, silver-haired girl. He smiled at her, only to relieve her of some of her nervousness. "You're coming with me to an emergency out in 13. Hurry up and go fetch Kira and Ogido. They'll be coming with us. Be quick about it! This is an emergency!"

"Yes, sir!" Kotetsu squeaked and was gone before Seinosuke could blink.

"You stupid idiot, Yamada!" Iemura snarled. "You think just because you're covering an emergency means you'll be spared from taicho for being caught slacking!"

Seinosuke opened his mouth to give Iemura a very bitter reply, but Unohana beat him to the punch.

"Seinosuke, is this true?" she asked with a calm smile.

"Of course not, taicho," Seinosuke said sincerely as he glared at Iemura. Iemura, who was standing behind Unohana and safe from her field of view, gave Seinosuke a smug look as he strolled out of the office. "I haven't the slightest idea of what he's talking about. I know they're half-assed reports, but I've got my reasons, taicho. Perhaps we can discuss it later over tea?"

Seinosuke knew when he could and could not weasel is way out of facing Unohana's wrath. He also knew how to appease her (at least to the best degree)enough to where facing her wrath wasn't as half as bad as what most assumed. One of the ways of appeasing her was making it known that you knew you screwed up and being incredibly blunt about it. Unohana eyed Seinosuke, almost glaring, but she simply accepted Seinosuke's offer by giving a firm nod of her head.

"Good then," Seinosuke said. "I'll show up around 6, taicho. I'll happily take you to whichever tea house of your choice, on the house by yours truly."

Second way of appeasing the great Captain Unohana: buy all of her desires for her. Of course, this option was usually avoided by Seinosuke because it brought much pain to his wallet. Still, if the taicho was considerably angry, Seinosuke would toss his wallet into an unstable dangai just to ensure her happiness.

"That sounds well and good, Yamada-fukutaicho," Unohana replied in a low voice as she turned and walked for her larger desk in front of the large, central glass-stained window. Her haori billowed behind her, giving her the illusion of floating gracefully. Seinosuke felt his heart flutter for the thousandth time that week.

 _Why am I feeling this way about taicho!_ Seinosuke mentally scream as he felt his cheeks grow warm as he watched Unohana smooth her robes over her rear before sitting. For a breif moment, the sunlight was in her face, and it made her all the more beautiful. Her cerulean eyes were on her desk, but (with her master observation) her eyes immediately snapped towards her red-faced fukutaicho, who had turned his head away from her almost just as quickly. _I-I've never felt this way_ …

At that same embarrassing moment, little Kotetsu suddenly came running into the office with two other young faced recruits. Kira Izuru and Ogido Harunobo.

"Ah, there you guys are," Seinosuke smiled. "Let's go! We've got an emergency to get to!"

"Hai!" the three barked almost too immediately.

As Seinosuke led the three eager younger ones to the emergency, he caught a glimpse of Unohana just before darting out of the office. She was watching him still, and he recognized her expression as the way she'd watch someone when she was intrigued or was studying something about them. The very idea of her watching him that way sent chills down Seinosuke's back, but he mentally berated himself.

 _No! I shouldn't be thinking of taicho that way!_

At the squad 13 barracks, a young boy and a young girl was hovering over a very injured girl. The young boy Seinosuke had immediately recognized as the son of one of the fellow lieutenants, Lieutenant Kotsubaki's son, Sentaro. The girl was much smaller than Sentaro, and she had wide violet eyes and short black hair. She wore glasses and she clutched a book close to her chest. Her violet eyes were brimmed with tears, and Seinosuke could almost smell her fear. The injured girl, Seinosuke knew was Kuchiki Rukia. About 2 years ago, the Kuchiki family had pulled this particular girl out of the academy and welcomed (or at least their head had) into their clan. She was then stuck into the 13th Division, where she worked quite frequently with the Division's lieutenant, Shiba Kaien. That was how Seinosuke actually met her.

"How did this happen?" Seinosuke asked softly, hoping not to scare the children even further. As he spoke, he began to tend to Kuchiki.

"W-we don't know!" Sentaro stammered. "I-It all happened all so fast! K-Kuchiki san was showing us some spells a-and Ise-chan tried an attack kido...And, and then _this_ happened."

"I didn't mean to!" the little girl, who was Ise-chan, suddenly blurted out and tears poured down freely. Seinosuke recognized her voice from the phone. "I'm sorry! Please, I don't wanna get in trouble!"

"Remain calm," Seinosuke chided softly. "We'll worry about that later, okay, Ise-chan? Don't worry, everything will be okay. I'll make it better. Kotetsu, Ogido, are you two paying close attention?"

"Hai, Yamada-san," both young 4th squad recruits chirped in unison.

"Good," Seinosuke nodded his head. "Kira, come help me tend to Kuchiki."

After Rukia had been thoroughly healed, Seinosuke began to console to the crying Ise-chan.

"Oh, do not cry, Ise-chan," Seinosuke told her warmly. "Look, she's as good as new."

"It's okay, Nanao," Rukia said, and she sounded very sorry. "I know you didn't mean it. It's okay."

Next to them, Seinosuke knew Ise Nanao's emotions were getting to Isane's own. He'd have to do something quick, or else he'd have to deal with two crying girls.

"Kira," Seinosuke said to the blonde recruit.

"Yes, fukutaicho?"

"Return to the 4th, and bring Kotetsu and Ogido with you," said Seinosuke. "They've had a big enough field trip. Make sure you fill in the taicho for me, okay?"

"Hai, fukutaicho," Kira said with a curt nod of his head. To Kotetsu and Ogido, he added, "Come on, you two."

When the three had gone, Seinosuke lifted Nanao into his arms. She was pretty small to say she was a soul reaper. The thought actually disturbed him that a young child was in the Gotei 13. _No wonder she's bawling like a baby. She_ is _a baby_.

"Oh, it's okay, Nanao," Seinosuke tried to calm her further. "Hey, listen to me. It's okay. You're not in trouble or anything. And if anybody says you are, just come find me, alright? I'll straigtening it all out. My name is Yamada Seinosuke, fuku-taicho of the 4th Division."

Nanao wiped a tear from her eye and nodded. "Thank you, Yamada-fukutaicho."

"Don't mention it," Seinosuke smiled. "Now dry your face. Are you in the 13th Division?"

"Nuh," Nanao whimpered. "I'm in 8."

"She's the youngest member in the 8th, Yamada-san," said Sentaro. "Kyoraku-taicho always watches over her. They were having tea with Ukitake-taicho, and I asked if she would like to come with Kuchiki-chan and I for kidou practice."

"Well, you're really, _really_ good in kido, Nanao-chan," said Seinosuke. "By the looks of it, that was a level 30 hakudo attack. Where in Soul Society did you learn that at your little age?"

"No-Nobody taught me," Nanao whimpered. "I just have good kidou. Kyoraku-taicho and Yadomaru-san helped me a lot to do better though...I guess I still need lots of practice. I-I hurt Kuchiki-san."

"It's okay, Nanao-chan," Rukia chuckled. She reached out to touch Nanao firmly on the shoulder. "You're getting much better in kidou. You should be proud."

"You're going to tell Kyoraku-taicho and Yadomaru-san, aren't you?" Nanao asked innocently.

"They probably already know," Sentaro stammered shyly. "I sent a jigokuchou to them."

"Sentaro-san, how could you?!" Nanao screeched.

"It's okay, Nanao-chan," Seinosuke said reassuringly. "Kyoraku-taicho and Yadomaru-fukutaicho will not be angry. I know them pretty well, so I would know. Come on, let's go find them now before they come looking for us."

"O-Okay," Nanao stammered. "I'll tell Ukitake-taicho I'm sorry for hurting Kuchiki-san."

"Nanao-chan, I've heard what had happened! Are you alright?!" Kyoraku-taicho called out to the approaching group. He shunpoed to where they were within the blink of an eye, nearly scaring the shit out of Seinosuke and company, and he swooped Nanao out of Seinosuke's grasp into his arms. "Don't feel bad. I know you didn't mean it, and you're not in trouble. Rukia-chan, I'm so glad to see you're okay!"

Rukia, who was actually laughing at Kyoraku's energetic worry, waved at him. "I'm _fine_ , Kyoraku-taicho. I'm having a hard time convincing Nanao-chan that I am okay."

"I didn't mean to hurt, Kuchiki-san, Kyoraku-taicho," Nanao chimed. "It won't happen again, I promise." To Nanao, she added, "And you thought you were in trouble! They're more worried about you than me!"

To Nanao, Rukia said, "And you thought you were in trouble! They're more worried about you than me!"

"They shouldn't be!" Nanao chirped, giving Kyoraku a questioning eye. "Kuchiki-san was hurt, not me!"

"It's okay, Nanao-chan," Kyoraku-taicho chuckled. "Rukia-chan's tougher than the strongest sake I've ever tasted. Isn't that right, Ju?"

"I'm very impressed with your kidou, Nanao-chan," Ukitake-taicho commented firmly as he had joined them from his porch. "And do not worry, Rukia-san is a very strong girl, like how Kyoraku says. Plus, we have Yamada-fukutaicho and his team from Division 4 to make sure everything was under control. Thank you, Yamada-fukutaicho."

"Just doing my job, sir," Seinosuke grinned as he bowed his head. "I'm just glad everything is okay and everyone's fine."

"Me, too," Kyoraku agreed, as he hugged little Nanao in his protective embrace again. He set her down, and calmly said, "How about you and Sentaro go over to the office help Ju's officers sort some papers. It'll teach you a bit about division paperwork that you wanted to learn so much about."

"Okay!" Nanao barked, but Sentaro looked less enthusiastic.

"But, me and Rukia-san weren't finished!" he objected loudly.

"I don't think I can continue practicing even if I wanted to," Rukia chuckled awkwardly. "My back is still a little sore."

"As expected, and as the healer here, I ban you from further strenuous work until tomorrow. You still have a few tears in your back muscles, and you jumping around with zanjutsu or kidou will only worsen the tears. Thus, making my efforts to make you better would have been void."

"Well, now I really can't even if I wanted to," Rukia said, this time laughing more genuinely.

"Then who will I practice with?!" Sentaro whined. "Rukia's the only willing person I've got! And paperwork's boring!"

"You'll have to do paperwork to work for Ukitake-taicho," Nanao said nonchalantly, but her words gave Sentaro a type of perk. One that illustrated his interest. To Kyoraku, Nanao said, "I will go now, Kyoraku-taicho."

"I will go, too!" Sentaro barked as he quickly trailed Nanao's much smaller shape towards the offices.

"I will do some paperwork, too, taicho," said Rukia to Ukitake. "There's nothing else I can do. I mean, paperwork's not strenuous, is it, Yamada-fukutaicho?"

"It is for me," Yamada announced with no trace of shame whatsoever. "Unfortunately, my taicho tends to disagree, and it has given me some rather painful results."

Seinosuke honestly had not meant to be so blunt about it, and he had not meant to give so much detail. The "painful results" statement was actually very true. On one occasion, during the year when Seinosuke had been appointed as Unohana's fukutaicho, Unohana had caught Seinosuke subsequently skipping work in order to practice zanjutsu. It was funny, because he had been practicing zanjutsu, but then when he and Unohana returned to the 4th barracks, she whipped out her Minazuki and let him have it. Seinosuke was unable to walk without crutches for weeks. And that was just ONE occasion. Still, at his words, Rukia and Kyoraku burst out laughing and Ukitake's face flushed pink with amusement. Seinosuke decided to allow a chuckle, even if he was rather embarrassed to unintentionally admit the abusive relationship he and his taicho shared.

"In speaking of which, I'm in hot water over that now," Seinosuke retorted. "I've been...doubly distracted, you could say, from my paperwork lately, and I'm not finished yet. Now I have to discuss said distractions over tea with her tonight. Mind you, those are never fun."

"Having tea with Unohana-san?!" Kyoraku barked.

"I think she's rather pleasant to have tea with," Ukitake smiled. "She usually volunteers to make the tea, and it's always so perfect."

"Oh, no you both misunderstand," Seinosuke sighed. "Allow me to brief you, dear gentleman. If you have never had some tea with Unohana while she's _angry_ , consider yourself very, very blessed. It's not _fun_. Of course, having tea with a _happy_ Unohana is deliciously- er...Wonderfully, nice. As a matter of fact, the tea's always better when she's happy. But, if she's not appeased, I guarantee you, even the overly sweetest of tea will taste very, very bitter."

Rukia and Kyoraku was dying with laughter and Ukitake had opened his mouth to say something when something small, black, and familiar caught the attention of all 4 individuals. The jigokuchou came to a halt in mid-air, just above Seinosuke's head, and a small announcement was made in a very familiar voice.

"Seinosuke-fukutaicho, you are 5 minutes late for our appointed tea," said a very familiar voice, but the 4 listeners went white with an indescribable agony (or at least Seinosuke did, the others seemingly lost their blood flow in the face) because of the TONE. It was the tone that said Unohana was angry!

Seinosuke frantically checked his wristwatch, and nearly died on the spot. It was now approximately 15 minutes past 6. The jigokuchou continued its dreaded message.

"It's rude to stand a girl up to a quote-unquote date that you proposed, Yamada-fukutaicho. I am sorely disappointed. I hope this urges you to fulfill your promise."

And with that, the jigokuchou fluttered away, like it hadn't a care in the world. Like it hadn't just delivered the scariest message in all of Soul Society!

"Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit, shit, shit!" Seinosuke hissed frantically. "I was so caught up with the younger ones, I totally lost track of time! I'll catch you good people later! I've gotta Queen to appease!"

And with that Seinosuke shunpoed away.


End file.
